Many times you’ll find that guys ask you why they’re not doing well with their online profile, and they for some reason blame the dating site itself. While some online dating Web sites are better than others - and that’s an article for another day - you can do a lot right now to enhance and brighten your profile to attract more interest. Here are five rules for a better online dating profile.
1. Show, don’t tell.
If you’ve ever taken a writing class, you’ve probably heard this rule of thumb: show, don’t tell. That means you want to avoid spelling everything out for someone who reads what you write; instead of clarifying things it often just insults your reader’s intelligence.
Insulting a woman’s intelligence isn’t a good idea on an online dating profile. So show, don’t tell. Show that you live an interesting lifestyle. Don’t tell them you’re successful with women, simply show pictures of you with female friends or ex-girlfriends. Don’t tell them about how fun you are; make the profile interesting, engaging, and your humor will be self-evident.
2. Passion.
Most women admit that they usually don’t have any preferences for what a man does - just that he has a passion for his calling in life, and that he sets ambitious goals for the future. You don’t have to be a wealthy to attract the kind of women we traditionally associate with “rich guys.”
It’s not about your specific career, but it’s about the energy and passion with which you talk about your career and other interests. Get in touch with your inner success story and write your online profile with the energy and passion that says you love what you do - at your job and in your life.
3. Communicate strong standards.
Having a clear set of standards for yourself is a powerful way of communicating that you hold yourself in high esteem. It is a natural by-product of confidence, and everyone has standards in some area of their life.
Even if you’re thinking “standards? I just want to get a date!” you’ll probably want to realize that’s not the kind of guy you want to express on your online profile. Even if you feel like being that way is “being yourself,” realize that you can’t “define yourself” by how you’re feeling about the dating scene at this moment.
Instead, ask yourself what you’re not willing to accept in a woman. Don’t make exceptions just to broaden your base of operations; if you are unwilling to date a smoker, say it.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of womens’ profiles are quick to spell out what they don’t want? It’s because they receive a lot of message and are in a position of power. Ask yourself what you’re willing to screen out and put yourself back in that position.
4. Clarity.
With all of the energy you might put into your online dating profile, it’s tempting to make it like one long Wikipedia entry about your life. Resist the temptation. Be short, succinct, to the point - the less words you use, the more information you can pack in.
No one wants to read a paragraph that’s so long they’ll have to scroll down just to catch it all. Instead, using your “show, don’t tell” philosophy, write succinctly about your passions, your interests, your standards, and leave it at that.
5. A quality picture.
I was recently talking to a guy who said that he receives a 9/10 rating on sites like Hot or Not. Oddly, he wasn’t that much of a great-looking guy; it’s just that his pictures were good. One of the pictures included an attractive female friend, and the other showed him having fun with a male friend. He had glasses and nothing near what you’d consider a “classically” attractive face.
What’s the secret to his success? You have to have good pictures that pique a woman’s interest. This doesn’t mean you have to look like a male model - but you’ll want to include pictures (non-staged, of course) that reflect your lifestyle. If you have a lot of friends, feel free to include those pictures.
View your online dating profile as a “story” that describes your life - what kind of story do your pictures write? You may be “good-looking,” but unless your pictures create some sort of excitement, you won’t be able to capitalize.
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