Sometimes we want to talk to women confidently and feel relaxed and natural around them, but we feel held back by our own mental attitudes and beliefs. When your insecurities harm your love life, it’s up to you to get rid of them - one insecurity at a time. Let’s take a look at five ways to get rid of your insecurities.
1. Get a realistic view of women.
Do you think you’re ugly? Do you think you’re too fat to date attractive women? You have to look at reality: attractive women date so-called “fat, ugly” guys all the time. Whether you’re fat/too tall/bald/short, there’s probably an example of an attractive women dating one of “you” in your area.
Women don’t care as much about how you look as much as how you look at yourself. Do you accept yourself? Are you a positive and fun person to be around? Or do you get in your own way, preferring to wallow in self-pity - one of the least attractive traits around?
2. Accept yourself.
It’s important to accept yourself as you are. This doesn’t mean that you resign to your insecurities, but rather that you embrace that, this is who you are and you’re not going to let it get in your way.
This will help you get over the fear of other people making fun of you - if someone teases you on one of your insecurities, have you accepted yourself well enough to take a joke? Can you laugh at yourself? View your flaws as “cute,” the same way a beautiful women might laugh at their oddly-shapen toes.
3. Watch for places where you might be overcompensating - and then don’t.
Have you been buying women flowers and taking them to expensive restaurants so that they don’t notice how boring you are? Do you buy big sports cars that say “don’t look at my bald head?” Don’t overcompensate - it only says all of the wrong things.
When you overcompensate, you accept the notion that you need to “make up for something” - that you’re not complete as you are. Healthy self-esteem views all people as equals, and with healthy self-esteem, you know that you’re a valuable, complete person just as you are. There’s no need to overcompensate.
4. Expose yourself to the fear.
Sometimes, when you’re afraid of something, the best policy is simply to expose yourself to that fear. Like someone with a fear of flying who eventually has to confront the real thing itself, you need to expose yourself to the fear to realize it doesn’t have any legs to stand on.
Have you ever been rejected by a woman outright? It doesn’t feel good, does it? But it didn’t ruin your life, either. Put yourself out there, and remind yourself that whatever happens, you can handle it.
5. Prove yourself wrong.
So you think women won’t date you because you’re too short? Prove yourself wrong. Go out and try it. Ask yourself if you’re using your insecurity as a crutch rather than a real excuse. Have the mentality that you’re going to prove yourself wrong, even if at first you don’t quite seem to be able to make any progress.
It’s one thing to look at other people who share you same “faults” dating beautiful women; it’s another thing to prove it to yourself. Ultimately, you’re responsible for your life, and you face a choice: will you accept your insecurity and take action, or will you use it as a crutch?
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