Okay, so you’ve read last week’s bit of dating advice and you’re a little excited because you went out and had some fun with it. And yet, it didn’t seem to work perfectly, as maybe you met a girl or two who didn’t respond well and - despite that you were trying to have fun - actually were downright cold or rude to you.
What’s a fella to do?
Here are a few strategies for dealing with this, em, phenomenon.
The first step is really simple: ignore and continue. The simple fact is, a lot of women are going to see that you’re having fun, that you’re a positive and somewhat dominant guy, and if you’re just starting to get out there and meet women, you won’t be 100% comfortable with it.
Women will pick up on this and, while they might want to have fun with you, in reality they’ve only just met you and they’re not sure if this is how you really. So they’re going to have to test how strong your mindset is.
Are you having fun and being in your own party (as described in last week’s post)? Okay, good. But there’s no reason this should all crumple down once you’ve been shot down by one woman, in one situation, one time. Simply ignore the fact that she’s behaving so coldly and keep on truckin’, pal. Being emotionally unreactive will communicate that you’re a master of your emotions and don’t need her validation to support your self-esteem. Cool, huh?
If this isn’t enough, move on to step two: banter. Point out her coldness in a way that shows you’re not letting her get to you. For example, if you’ve approached a woman and she’s with her friend, and still acting cold to you despite the fact that both of them are clearly interested in you in some capacity, say to her friend “she’s not much for a party, is she?” and put your arm around the cold fish.
Obviously, you want to feel that you have some amount of interest before you do this. But don’t be afraid to tackle the situation head-on: you’ve given the woman more than enough chance to join your little party, and she’s still not taking it. Playfully tease her because, hey, it’s kind of silly not to want to have fun.
If that doesn’t warm her up, move on to step three: enforce your standards. You should have personal standards of behavior - both of yourself and the company you keep. If you’ve given a woman ample opportunity to have fun with you, given her a little witty banter, and still she insists on acting rudely, there’s no reason to keep the interaction going. Remember: when you’re out, you should place your own happiness first, because you’ll be able to share your good mood with others. Don’t let her take you down if you’ve invested too much. Say a polite goodbye and move on; hey, she just might miss you.
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