Being playful is one of the most consistent and effective ways to interact with and flirt with women - and not just women you’re interested in. The ability to have fun in any interaction will lead you to become a more charming person in general, giving you a carefree vibe that most people will either want to intimate, or simply want to be around.
So what is “being playful,” and how do you get there yourself? Here are the fundamentals.
When you’re interacting with women, don’t look to “force things,” but instead amuse yourself.
If there’s one thing that confident people have, it’s the sense that they are at least equal to or slightly greater in value to the person they’re interacting with. Their innate sense of value and higher status usually manifests in some sort of playfulness - at least if they’re truly secure with themselves.
Why? The better question to ask is, why not? Everyone was born with this innate state of happiness, the desire to “amuse” yourself in a way that doesn’t necessarily include or exclude anyone else.
Think about babies or very young children and how they interact with people. Babies will laugh at the slighest bit of amusement, and will try anything new just to see how it feels. Kids can be loud and rambunctious, asking strangers their name just because they’re a little bored while waiting in line. They’re amusing themselves and other people feed off of this type of energy. “To be young again,” one might say.
Well, you don’t have to be 5 years old to be playful and invent your own fun.
Too many men, when they’re dating, forget about what it’s like to just “be happy” while interacting with others, and instead see women as a means to an end. This is the wrong way to look at it.
To be truly playful, you’re going to have to bring up your self-esteem a few notches and start “inventing” fun. And it will mean indulging some of those thoughts that you usually keep to yourself - I can’t tell you “what to do” because what amuses every person is different on an individual basis
Once you get used to the rhythm of this - and you’ll probably start talking a lot, lot more - you’ll be amazed at how well it seems to improve your success with women.
Here are a few examples of being playful and amusing yourself in the right way.
Example #1: Dealing with everyday interactions. Let’s say you’re used to walking into your apartment and greeting your doorperson with the same old “How are you?” before heading to the elevator. Is this playful? No, it’s common and boring. Instead of saying “how are you,” say what’s on your mind with little hesitation. Tell them about your day, your thoughts, and do it while smiling on the inside.
Once you adopt a playful mindset, you’ll be surprised how quickly an innocent comment like “Quite a snowstorm” can turn into “Hey, if I slip on the snow outside, how much do you think I could sue this place for?” People don’t remember you for the “how are you’s,” they remember you for the laughs.
Example #2: Playfully playing up the “gentleman” role on a date. Women do indeed appreciate a man who makes it a habit to be gentlemanly, even if it’s the little things like holding a door open. But what if you have some fun with it? Open the door for her, and then give her a sarcastic “I’m waiting!” look. Pull out her chair for her, and then sit in it right before she does.
Ultimately, don’t be cruel about it, just let her know you’re aware of these little social tidbits and that you’re carefree enough to have some fun with them.
Example #3: Exaggeration and role-playing can be amazingly effective ways to flirt. Instead of giving a woman the same old “interview-style” questions and answers (where are you from, what do you do, etc.), you might want to have some fun with the process of getting to know each other, as well.
Use the “obvious fib,” a lie that is so exaggerated that both of you know it’s just a joke. If she asks what you do in your free time, tell her that usually you like to conduct experiments on the space station, but you’re relaxing and searching for lost gold instead. Then, as you both laugh at this little fib, involve her in it: tell her she can come with you on your next dig in Egypt. If she plays along, you’ve got a keeper.
Example #4: Physical playfulness. Men have to take the lead, and if they do it in a playful way, there’s nothing “creepy” or “weird” coming through. One of the unmistakable signs of successful flirting is physical playfulness, such as when you two are playing a game and you have a fake fight or wrestling contest.
Ultimately, being playful is actually a sign of a positive attitude and a healthy sense of self-esteem. You want to have fun for yourself, first and foremost, but you’re not looking to exclude anyone. Change your mindset, and playfulness comes natural - or use one of the tips above and you might find you’re reverse-engineering the process and you start “feeling” playful.
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