At a certain point in this advanced system of courtship that humans call “dating,” you will eventually hit it off with a woman well enough to become a part of her social circle. Naturally, being a part of her social circle means that you have to meet other people she knows, and while this might seem natural, for many guys it can present problems.
Both women and men often look to the approval of their peers to validate what they’re doing, and this is especially true when a woman starts dating a man. For her, it’s crucial that no matter how much she likes you the way you are, that she feels a bit like she’s “snagged a good one.”
For her to feel this way, you’ve got to meet her friends, and you’ve got to impress.
Let’s take a look at the two circumstances in which you might meet her friends.
Circumstance #1: You meet her and her friends the same night.
If you go out to a lot of bars and clubs, there’s a good chance that you’ll meet the entire group the same moment. Women often bring their friends - both male and female - with them to feel safer in unpredictable social environments, which means if you do approach a girl while out hitting the town, you’ll also be approaching her friends.
This situation is the most difficult, because when you approach new people, you don’t come with the added assumption that you’re an all right guy. Why not? Because the girl you’re interested in can’t vouch for you: even she just met you.
That’s why you’ll have to pay even more attention to making her friends your friends.
If you approach a girl and hit it off, but fail to acknowledge her friends, they’ll feel like third wheels. You’ll have to engage the entire group to get everyone’s approval before sauntering off with the girl you’re after.
Luckily, this is a relatively simple thing to do. A smile, a few jokes, and some real, spontaneous conversation - the same “natural” way you want to act all of the time - will get them over to your side. What’s mainly important to them is that you put in the effort and show that you’re socially aware enough to make sure they feel comfortable with you.
After the friends like you, you can go about your business, like getting a phone number.
Circumstance #2: You Come Pre-Qualified as Her “Boyfriend”
If you’re already dating your girlfriend and now she wants you to meet her friends, you come with the advantage of being “pre-qualified.” After all, their friend is already going out with you. There’s no easier way to meet new people than by being introduced by someone they trust.
The problem? You might feel a little pressure - you want impress your girlfriend’s friends, after all. While meeting the whole group at once might not require a whole lot of investment to win the friends over, it’s much easier to come across as Johnny Q. Boring when you place pressure on yourself to make your girlfriend look good for choosing you?
The solution? Relax. Remember How to Have Fun and Excite Women (At the Same Time): focus on your own mood first.
Remember also: emotions are contagious. If you can be truly happy and enjoy yourself, the chances are that her friends will enjoy your presence, as well. But you can’t be happy and enjoy yourself if you’re too nervous to “be yourself” in the first place.
That’s why you have to let go of their opinions of you and concentrate on your own good time. Relax, take it easy, and be happy, and all of the “right things” to say will come naturally.
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