Sometimes, it helps to take a step back from the world of dating and examine your level of success from a broader perspective: if you don’t know how to succeed in the small things, how will you know the ways to succeed at a large area of your life like dating?
A lot of it comes back to goal-setting and the strategies of true achievement. And if you’re not applying these principles to your dating life, there’s a good chance you’re just treading water.
So what are these principles, and how can you put them into action to find the girl of your dreams? Let’s take a closer look.
Be Specific About What You Want
One principle that helps increase your focus, amp your drive, and clarify the details is simple: know what you want.
What do you want to get out of dating? If you can’t answer with a clear sentence off the top of your head, there’s a chance you need to work on this question.
Are you looking for…
What really drives you? Many men find out that what really drives them is actually rather simple. So give it a few minutes and really think about it. What would make you the most happy in this world of dating?
Then, distill it to a clear sentence. For example: I’m looking for a fun-loving, beautiful, caring woman to spend time with, to share experiences with, and to ultimately raise a family with.
Not too shabby. Of course, that might not be your individual goal - fill in the blanks here. Once you have that statement ready, write it out and post it above your computer so that you can see it all the time. Let it remind you of what you’re going for.
When you know what you’re specifically looking for, you gain focus and intuition that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Your mind knows what the goal is and starts filtering all of the information you receive on a daily basis, helping you to find what you constantly think about.
Never give up.
Another area of your life that your “goal statement” will help you with is persistence. If you have three bad dates without a clear goal, your mind feels free to wander around and make up plenty of rationalizations. Maybe I just suck at dating. Maybe she hated me because of how I look.
But if you know what you’re looking for, this inner monologue might change. She actually wasn’t really right for me. I have to keep looking.
The difference is huge, because better self-talk will help you to persist, which is one of the most important things you can do as you try to achieve your goals. You can’t go out one night and expect to find the woman of your dreams. But if you go out three nights a week for a year, your chances increase dramatically.
Anyone will tell you that learning something new isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be downright challenging. But the choice is clear: either you get working, or you stay where you are. There’s no third option here.
When you get rejected, how will you feel? Will you feel down, like the woman just validated your poor opinion of yourself? Or will you think, actually, she wasn’t exactly what I wanted - maybe if I keep trying, I can find the girl I want.
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet success at first. Feel proud that you’re making progress in the face of challenge. And keep your goal in mind.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
