No matter how much you might think you have in common with Don Juan, Lord Byron, or Casanova, here’s something you don’t have in common with them: cell phones. And computers. And the Internet. And text messaging.
The dating field almost instantly catches up to any new advances in technology, which means that today’s communication devices - Facebook, TXT, Instant Messengers, Phones, and e-mail - come with the territory. Once you’re comfortable with real, live women, you’re going to have to learn to utilize these technologies to make things easier, not harder, on yourself.
Here are some quick tips and pieces of advice for working with these modes of communication.
No matter how successful you might be in wooing the Women of the Internet, it’s ultimately pointless if you can’t secure an in-person meeting and healthy interaction with live women. Sure, many of the women you meet are real, live, attractive, fun women on their end of the keyboard, but many aren’t. Remember that ultimately these high-tech gadgets and systems we have are just ways of better leveraging our social lives, not ways to define them.
Most guys, unfortunately, fall into the category of “most guys” when they call women and leave a voicemail.
Don’t do: “Hey, this is Johnny, um, the guy you met at the bar last night. The tall guy with the brown hair, and, um, we talked about our favorite movies. Anyways, I had a really good time last night, and I think you’re really cool, so why don’t we hang out sometime? Let me know when a good time is to hang out. My number is __________. Call me, bye.”
Too many guys are still trying to “make the sale” and explain themselves, like Mikey from “Swingers.” (Video here).
It’s just a voicemail! Do you leave your friends voicemails that explain why they should continue to be your friends?
Do: “Hey, it’s Johnny. I was just watching ‘Dazed and Confused’ and it reminded me of our conversation last night. Try to get a hold of me. Later.”
Short and sweet, like you call girls all the time, with a nice little reference to help her remember your conversation.
You don’t ask for a date in the voicemail itself, you just tell her to get a hold of you. Don’t put any pressure to answer a date request in your voicemail; it will just make her calling you back that much harder. Be light, casual, and brief.
Same standards apply as the voicemail, except text will be more interactive, so you can make it a bit more fun and creative.
Call her first, and leave the voicemail mentioned above, but if you still get no response, go for the text message.
There are a couple of fun text messages types you can try.
Reminder her who you are: If it’s not immediately obvious who you are, let her know by calling back some humor from your initial interaction or by continuing a conversation that faded off. Let’s keep our “Dazed and Confused” example.
Example: “That’s what I like about high school girls…”
Don’t worry, it’s not as creepy as it sounds, it’s just a quote from the movie. Hopefully, she’ll recognize who you are and you’ll get an “lol” somewhere in her reply.
In Media Res: In literature, beginning the story during the middle of the plot is known as beginning “in media res.” Do this with a text message - especially if you’ve had enough interaction with her that she’ll know who it is right away.
Example: “Okay, that’s not fair.”
What’s not fair? She’ll reply and ask, and then you tease her about something insignificant, like how you just had to get her phone number because you can’t resist girls with iPhones.
The secret to leveraging these technologies is keeping things light, funny, and never to expend too much energy trying to logically convince her to like you, remember you, or go out with you. Act like the relationship is already happening, and things will play themselves out naturally.
And, of course, it will make for a much less awkward transition into “real-live-date” mode.
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