In this day and age, it’s an inevitability: you’re probably going to end up talking to the woman of your heart’s desire on the phone. For some, doing so is a nerve-racking experience in and of itself; but if you learn how to use it right, you can make the phone do the work for you. Here are five tips for better phone conversation when you’re dating.
1: Remember the words “short and sweet.”
If you’re the man and you’re calling a woman, you’d better hang up that phone first. This is a rule with a few exceptions, but it’s still a rule. Why do you want to hang up the phone first? Well, if you called, a stalling conversation full of “so…what are you doing?” questions will only make you appear needy and odd.
Instead, keep the conversation short and sweet. You’re not into her because of her voice, are you? If not, remember that the phone is simply a way to communicate things like dinner plans. Use it logistically.
2: When you get a woman’s phone number, don’t play any “waiting” games.
It’s sometimes popular to wait a few days after you get a woman’s phone number, as if you had something better to do in the time between meeting her and calling her. But sometimes it simply communicates that you’re indecisive.
Instead, call a girl within a day or so. If you want to really have fun with it, call her number a couple of minutes after you met her - poke fun at the “games” people play. The sooner you call, the sooner you know if she’s going to pick up.
3: Don’t dance the mating dance.
It’s tempting to use your “game” on the phone, as if you have to prove to the woman you’re calling that you’re funny and charming at every point in your life. But when you talk to your friends, do you find a similar need? Most likely you don’t.
Treat a woman on the phone with a degree of casualness and she’ll get the hint: you’re not taking these things too seriously, and you don’t feel like you need to “perform” for her on the phone.
4: Don’t be afraid to get wacky.
While you don’t want to “dance” on the phone, that doesn’t mean you should use your seriousness and casualness as a way to attract her, either. Instead, focus on amusing yourself. This is what many “cool” guys do naturally. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind.
5: Treat the phone like what it is.
The phone is not an end in and of itself. It’s simply a way for you to communicate with someone from a long distance. That’s it. It’s actually quite limited - you can’t see her facial expressions, for example. So instead of trying to be so great on the phone, treat it as what it is: a tool to help you communicate better.
Use it to make plans, cancel plans, or ask her out. Don’t use it to substitute for your real-life presence. If you did, what reason would she have to meet you in person?
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