Even if the female mind is a labyrinth, there are some women out there who will simply never understand how you can be so passionate about sports. To her, spending three hours on a Sunday afternoon watching grown men organize in formation and slap each other’s butts is incomprehensible. But to you, it makes perfect sense.
Just because your girlfriend, fiance, or wife doesn’t understand your passion for sports doesn’t mean you should have to pick one or the other. If your love of sports has been causing your some troubles with your love interest, it’s time to get your act in gear.
“Oh, come on, Dan! You’re getting soft on me! You propose letting my girlfriend drag me around some art museum all Saturday?”
It’s called collateral. In order for a woman to feel like a relationship is on solid ground - which can be a tremendous source of happiness for her - she needs to know you’re as invested in it as she is. If you ignore her all week and expect that she stay out of your life for three hours on Sunday afternoon while you watch football, she’s probably going to feel a little discontented.
If she’s going to respect your “Sports space,” then you’re going to need to respect her passions and hobbies as well. Stop making fun of her for shopping so much and go out with her when she wants to see an art exhibit. This “collateral” acts as proof that you do care about the relationship, and will be the foundation for what’s to come later on.
Please note: If you’re not in a serious relationship with a girl, she has no right to start complaining about the amount of time playing sports. You also don’t want to lead her on if you’re not interested in something long-term.
Most people tend to act under a general guideline: when it comes to discipline, they’ll do as much misbehaving as they feel they can get away with. This is why you don’t see a lot of tomfoolery in front of the Drill Sergeant, but the lazy parent can quickly raise a brat.
If sports are really that important to you, let your wife/fiance/girlfriend know that you expect to have your sports-watching time totally respected. You can’t be bluffing here; she has to feel that if she does cross the boundary, you will really, really not appreciate it.
The key is that this comes from a place of reality - not simply trying to bully over your girlfriend by showing her you can watch sports. Instead, sports have to be important enough to you that you say “I am a package: I come with hair, eyes, and I watch sports.” If you’re not willing to be flexible, then it’s simple: don’t be flexible. She’ll get the hint and find something else to do until you’re ready to hang out again.
If you followed Tip #1, she’ll understand that you do care about your relationship, but that you also need to have a little guy-time.
Sometimes, women don’t mean to bother you about sports; it’s simply that they feel a discrepancy in the relationship. They’ve been investing a lot of time, effort, and emotion into being your girlfriend and they feel like you don’t care quite as much.
In this case, it’s important that you understand your love of sports might not be the problem causing all of the fights. Instead, look to the root of the problem: women need to feel appreciated and desired in a long-term relationship, and when you ignore her to watch a game, the idea that you don’t appreciate her pokes out of the water.
As a man, you’re tempted to use logic and say “Why can’t watching football on Sunday be separate from how you feel about our relationship? I just want to watch sports without it having such deep meaning for you.” But you have to look a little deeper and see what is really causing your special woman to feel a certain way.
Part of what makes sports so appealing for men is that it makes us feel masculine - rooting for one team, opposing the other, and choosing sides in a conflict. Even cheering hard for your team can be a healthy outlet for aggression, and if you suppress these masculine desires, you might be adding to the whole “sports” problem. You don’t want to grow to resent your girlfriend or wife because you feel suppressed as a masculine being. Let it out!
Women sometimes can’t help but be attracted to men who are loud, passionate, and fun - and sports can bring that out of you. Don’t suppress it because your girlfriend is around; revel in it. When your team has a good play, pick her up and swing her around, give her ten enthusiastic kisses all over her face if she brings you snacks; if she’s giggling, you’re doing it right. If you become a little more manly every time you watch sports, she might just learn to love them, too.
Sporting events are highly social, even when you’re just watching them on TV. Use sports as an excuse to meet people, have friends over, and get out of the house - it will help you from feeling cooped up or lazy.
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