Mistakes aren’t necessarily a bad thing - after all, if you hadn’t stumbled a few times while trying to ride your bike, you wouldn’t know how to do it today. Embarrassing mistakes have a way of helping us to remember what not to do - and remember it very vividly.
So that you know when you’ve made a mistake, here are five mistakes many guys make when out on the dating scene.
Come on. Apprehension? That’s not a mistake, that’s a natural consequence of putting yourself out there!
That doesn’t mean you can’t control your emotions.
When you’re out with a woman, the best thing to do is relax. Why? Being out with a woman on a first date can be a nerve-racking situation, especially if you’re out meeting a woman you’ve never met before. Too many guys get so caught up in “Doing this, not doing that” that they forget to simply relax, lower their talking standards, and let the dating success come naturally.
In other words, loosen up.
My personal, biggest dating regrets are simple: I should have approached that woman in the mall/at the theme park/etc. Really, I should have. Similarly, when you’re attracted to a woman and you have an opportunity to approach her, don’t talk yourself out of it.
When you don’t approach a woman you’re interested in, your shot at dating success is at a whopping zero percent. When you do talk to her, maybe your chances aren’t much better - but at least there’s a chance. You never know; you might make her day.
Whose reality do you live in? It seems like an obvious question, right? Yours, of course. Right?
Right?
Not always. When you “live in someone else’s reality,” you let your general attitude and social standing be determined by them, not you.
It happens quickly. When a girl asks you “What do you do?” in a harsh tone that suggests it better be something with a hefty paycheck, and you respond in a way that tries to impress her, guess what? Even if your job does come with a hefty paycheck, you just took one step into her reality.
If you’re living in your reality, you don’t particularly care about answering in a way that will make you look good. You’re more concerned with being happy yourself.
When you’re near an attractive woman, it’s tempting to monitor your own behavior so that you don’t come across as weird - what’s ironic is that it’s this self-consciousness that makes you appear weird in the first place.
Believe me; women simply can’t feel deep attraction to a guy who’s uncomfortable in his own skin. You need to embrace the possibility that she will find you weird when you aren’t monitoring your behavior instead of monitor it. It sounds like quite the paradox, but it simply means that you need to be casual, loose, relaxed, and if you’re in a high-energy environment, fun.
To break out of the self-conscious mold, try approaching a few strangers, especially before a first date. You’ll loosen up and will feel a little more natural being out in the social world.
If a woman doesn’t like you, all the flowers in the world won’t necessarily make her like you. In fact, your attempts to manipulate a woman into liking you simply highlight the negative qualities she thinks you have.
Trying to manipulate a woman into affection can take on many forms; you might tell jokes that you wouldn’t normally tell to your friends, or you might treat her nice because she’s a “lady.” Hey, I’m all for chivalry, but it works better when you do it for yourself, not for her. She’ll appreciate it more that way anyway.
If you’re around an especially attractive woman, simply “being normal” is often enough to attract her. Why? Because she’s so used to guys getting nervous and fawning over her that “normal” is refreshing. And if you’re normal and not nervous around someone as attractive as her, she also assumes you might do well with other women, which makes you more attractive.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
