Ah, the “crush.” That feeling of hearts-a-twitter and butterflies in the stomach when you look across the classroom, restaurant, bar, and see someone who looks appealing enough to be “that special someone” in your life.
Is it all just B.S.?
Not every crush starts as daydreaming of sunshine and rainbows and ends up in a new, fantastic relationship. Sometimes, reality can have a way of bringing us back to earth. If you’ve ever had a crush on someone and it didn’t end all that well, this article is for you.
The Advantages of Having a Crush on Someone
There are certainly a few advantages to having a crush on someone, as nervous as you may be when you’re within hearing distance of the one you pine for.
Motivation - Sometimes, it takes more than a gentle breeze to get us off of our butts and talking to someone we have an interest in. Having a crush on someone gets you daydreaming, and eventually, you start asking yourself, “wait a minute…how can I make this daydream a reality? How can I ask this person out?” If that’s the case, you’re on the right track.
Bringing people together - When a crush is mutual, you’ll probably see two people have a relationship sooner or later. Whether it’s a high school crush that buds into a relationship through back-alley channels (”Josh likes you. Do you like Josh?”) or the budding of an adult romance, mutual crushes have a way of inspiring relationships that last.
The Disadvantages of Having a Crush on Someone
With the above in mind, it’s worth nothing that a crush isn’t always the best thing for you, particularly if you’ve got the wrong kind of crush.
Nervousness - It’s possible to overcome nervousness, but overcoming that challenge has to come from within you. The key here is whether or not you allow your nervousness to dictate your life. Sure, it’s nerve-wracking asking your crush out on a date. But it’s better than being the guy who didn’t try.
Neediness - Neediness kills attraction. Lighting a romantic spark when one of you is too needy is like trying to light a match in space: probably not going to happen. Guys: have you ever noticed that when you have a girlfriend, other women seem more interested in you? Perhaps it’s because you’re “unavailable” and dating someone who is high-quality, but it might also because when you have a girlfriend, you’re more relaxed around other women.
Conclusions? Maybe the thing to avoid isn’t the crush itself, it’s letting the crush control you. If you find yourself becoming too infatuated with someone, take a step back, take a deep breath, and see if you really can list the reasons why you like someone. If your answers don’t go beyond “he/she’s just so attractive,” then you might want to come to your senses.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
