So you’ve been seeing a girl for a few weeks, maybe even a few months. You’ve been on lots of dates, found out a lot about each other and had a lot of fun. You’re pretty sure that what you feel for her has gone beyond just the liking stage and you would like to set the way for a bit more mutual commitment. The problem is, you don’t want to spoil what you’ve got by being too greedy and you’re scared that asking for more may mean that you lose her altogether.
Deciding whether a relationship is worth pursuing is often the most difficult decision to make in the early days of knowing someone, so, if you’ve got this far, providing you follow a few simple rules, you should have absolutely no problems with helping your partnership flourish.
Rule 1 - Look for the signs
Whether or not you end up taking things further is a process that is dependent as much on your girlfriend as it is on you. Just because you want to continue the relationship doesn’t mean that she will and if she doesn’t feel the same way then there’s not too much you can do to sway her. Watching out for signals that her interest in you is growing is a good way of being a little more sure of what she wants. So, if she is keen to spend more time with you, reciprocates your attention towards her and actively wants to learn more about you then the situation is certainly looking sunny.
Rule 2 - Don’t let your fear hold you back
Many couples become stuck in a rut and find their relationship simply fizzles out and dies simply because nobody has found the courage to move things along. It is natural to be afraid of rejection and possibly losing what you already have but taking the plunge and pledging more commitment to your partnership may reap greater benefits. In any case, it will help you to be sure that you both want the same things from your relationship; if not, it is best to identify your differences sooner rather than later and go your separate ways before you have invested too much emotional energy into your union.
Rule 3 - Be direct
If you want more from her, don’t be cryptic about it, just say so. Playing games or expecting someone to be able to read your mind can result in a lot of confusion and be very frustrating for both parties. Be clear as to how much commitment you would like from her and the direction in which you would like your relationship to go, otherwise she might just turn up at your door with her suitcase in hand expecting to move in!
Rule 4 - Actions speak louder than words
Demonstrating that she is important to you and investing time in your relationship should give you a helping hand in building stronger bonds with her. Use simple gestures to show her that you care for her and make an effort to get to know the people that are important in her life; after all, if you are planning on being a more permanent fixture, they will probably be your friends as well as hers in the future.
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