One day, you might have bought a shiny new car and felt the new boost of confidence that came with it. Grabbing that new steering wheel, surrounded by the clean aroma of new-car-smell, and putting on a pair of shades, you feel pretty dang cool. And as you feel that way, you notice that you’re garnering a little more attention from the opposite sex, even though you look the same you’ve always looked.
Here’s the question. Did that extra attention come because of your new car - or because of you?
The Problem With “Buying Attraction”
For many guys who don’t know a lot about women, the way to a woman’s heart is through the checkbook. Well, why not? These guys have been inundated with television shows and movies that tell them rich men are always surrounded by attractive women. So it must work that way in real life, right?
Not exactly. Men who go on dates and try to use their wealth in order to manipulate a woman into attracting them are going about the whole “dating” thing the completely wrong way.
The problem with “buying attraction” is that the underlying assumption is that you’re not attractive enough in the first place. After all, if you were confident in yourself and your attractiveness, would you need to do anything to make a girl see that? No! She’d see it just by looking at you.
Trying to a manipulate a girl’s reaction is one of the first ways to kill attraction. Sure, you might have a BMW, but if the woman senses that you need her to approve of your car in order to have confidence in yourself, attraction will die quickly - or never be sparked at all.
How to Use Your Wealth Smartly
Some guys might say “but I’m really not that attractive; guys like me do need money.”
That’s an assumption you’ve chosen yourself that may or may not be accurate. If you’re talking about your physical appearance, then your “I’m not attractive” assumption will manifest in the way you take care of yourself: you won’t want to be physically fit, you won’t see the reason to stay properly groomed, and you won’t optimize your hygiene. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of the negative kind.
Anyone who pays attention to what really goes on behind the dating success of wealthy men can see that many wealthy men have also built up a certain amount of core confidence along with their wealth. They have a lot of money, but they don’t need to spend it on certain things in order to impress others - if they want to buy something for themselves, they but it.
Similarly, if you plan on buying your dating success, you shouldn’t buy pools, houses, cars, or other toys to impress women. Those won’t find you women. You’ll find yourself women.
Women are attracted to men who are focused on their own lives and their own goals. If your path has included financial abundance, then she’ll feel that you’re a man who knows how to get what he wants.
That’s what’s attractive. Not the BMW.
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