Do you remember that one kid in high school or college who always seemed to have something entertaining or fun to say?  You know the type - he was probably on the football team, he was always talking, and he was always the center of attention.  No matter how slow things seemed to be going, he always had something fun to offer.

The guy you’re thinking of probably didn’t do too badly with the ladies, either.  Back in the day, it was easy to dismiss that guy’s charisma as “innate,” but with a little study and a lot of practice, anyone can develop the exact same kind of charm.

What kind of charm am I talking about?  The kind where you manage your own private party - amusing yourself, first and foremost - and simply along other people for the ride.

An Example of Your Own Private Party

Watch the above video of British rock star Robbie Williams giving an interview. Notice that Robbie is always the center of attention, and the people around him can’t help but crack up.

Why? What’s going on here?

Robbie Williams is, first and foremost, amusing himself in that video. Sure, he’s joking around, but the undercurrent of what’s going on suggests that he’s the cool guy, he’s the life of the party, and he’s treating himself as such.

How and Why to Be Your Own Private Party

Women are attracted to cool men. It’s that simple. But too many guys are focused on “acting” cool when instead they could be cool simply by amusing themselves.

In the Robbie Williams video above, he is assuming his own high status, and entertaining himself from that frame of mind. He doesn’t really mind making the interviewer uncomfortable - as long as he’s amusing himself.

Not only is this kind of energy infectious and fun, but it communicates that you’re really a man who doesn’t give his power away to women he’s just met.

Too often on dates, men are concerned with making the woman comfortable, and how good of a time she’s having. Guys might even ask “so how am I doing so far?” as if he’s in a job interview and she’s the boss.

Tell me, guys: if the objective is to be cool, does seeking her approval really excite her, or does it bore her?

Instead, concentrate on having your own fun first. Emotions are infectious, so if you’re having fun, she’ll probably have fun, too - but don’t worry about her. She should be trying to get into your private party, trying to win you over.

When you amuse yourself first, the underlying assumption is that you are cool because you deserve to have fun.

Think back to the introduction to this article, and that one guy from high school or college who just seemed to ooze charisma and fun. Was he concentrating on other people having fun, or was he making his own fun?

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