Have you ever tried to improve your dating life, but found that when you went out your door and into the real world, it’s actually incredibly nerve-racking and even downright intimidating?  Don’t worry; it’s time to take the pressure off.  It’s time to start small.

How to Work Your Way into a Good Outing

It’s more important to be out there taking action than it is to stay cooped up inside and reading dating tips (except this article, of course!).  If you’ve read a lot of dating advice, going out and trying to meet new people comes with a lot of pressure.  What if they reject you?  What if you come across as weird or creepy?  What if you get embarrassed?

To beat these jitters, start by forgetting your long-term goals and simply focus on tonight.  Tonight, you’re going to start small.

If you’ve never been a very active dater before, chances are that you’re going to feel shy.  You can’t exactly go from zero to hero overnight.  That’s why for this next outing, you’ll need to start small. 

Just focus on approaching one to three new groups of strangers.  Don’t worry about how they react to you; just saying “Hello” is enough to consider this outing a success.  You might be surprised at how approaching just a few people can turn your night upside-down, get you out of your shell, and actually get you to have a good time.

One quick note:  to prevent lingering at the bar or standing in the corner, try to approach someone right away once you enter.  Something as simple as “do you have the time?” is enough.

You wouldn’t expect to grow muscles overnight.  So why should you expect to grow social muscles overnight?  Just work on getting your reps in, and the muscles will come.

Set Short-Term Goals

Once you’ve mastered the art of getting out there and actually meeting new people, you should feel ready to start working on your social skills.  Don’t assume you have to make out with every new girl you meet, or that you have to become some Playboy overnight.  Instead, progressively work on your social skills by setting small, short-term goals.

For example, if eye contact has always been a problem for you, start focusing on keeping eye contact with people for a week or so, until you no longer feel uncomfortable doing it.  From there, work your way up – if you’ve never felt comfortable giving people compliments, resolve yourself to giving a stranger a compliment every day.

You can even start smaller if you want.  If you don’t want to meet new people right away, at least get yourself out of the house.  The important thing is taking action that can build up real momentum in your life, and not lagging while trying to find the latest advice that can solve everything for you.

You will solve your problems.  Not the advice.  So take that first step, and keep walking.