http://www.hottiematchup.com/forums/dating-love-advice/whats-the-worst-that-could-happen Simple:Press Forum Version 4.0.1 http://www.hottiematchup.com/forums/dating-love-advice/whats-the-worst-that-could-happen/#p4 Dating & Love Advice http://www.hottiematchup.com/forums/dating-love-advice/whats-the-worst-that-could-happen/#p4 I wonder what it would be like to approach them. For most people, even considering such a scenario brings about feelings of anxiety, stress, and frustration.  Why?  Because they're asking themselves a poor question in the first place; they're looking at the worst-possible scenarios that might happen if they took a risk. But what really is the worst that could happen?  Let's take a look at some of these unlikely scenarios and see if we can't cut through the fear. Was That So Bad? I've been there.  I've been out in a bar, trying to work up the courage to approach a woman I find interesting, only to either get shot down right off the bat or simply ignored. And guess what?  I've survived to tell the tale. Sure, there's potential pain out there, but that's no reason to let pain or the fear of pain dominate your life.  Half of the time, if one of your "worst-case" scenarios plays out in reality, you'll have the hindsight to ask yourself one life-changing question: Was that so bad? Usually, the answer is no. For a lot of guys out there, the prospect of approaching a woman they've never met before is an undertaking akin to public speaking; it's one of those "worst fears" that doesn't have a whole lot of grounding in reality. The truth is, your worst-case scenarios won't happen that often, if at all.  If you were to approach 100 women throughout the next couple of months, the chances are good that about 10% of the approaches would go extremely well and 10% would go very poorly.  The other 80%?  They'll probably go anywhere from so-so to "pretty good."  It's not as bad as you think. Of course, in order to find that out, you'll have to try for yourself. Playing Out Your Worst-Case Scenarios Once we really try to get a grasp of our fears and confront them head-on, we find that the fears dissolve. Fear needs something to push back, something to grab on to.  If you don't resist it but instead accept it and act anyway, the fear usually goes away. But another way to dispel your fears is to ask yourself what really might happen from approaching someone new and putting yourself out there. As a general rule, the worst "rejections" are exceptional - they are outside the norm.  Most women are nice and friendly - even if they're not interested in you, they won't necessarily need to put you down. But let's say the worst-case scenario did happen.  How bad would you really feel? Imagine this:  you're in a public gathering like a coffee shop or restaurant, and you see a woman you can tell you would be interested in.  She's alone, maybe reading a book or simply eating by herself, and the smell of fresh opportunity is in the air.  Usually you let these slip by, but what would happen if you decided to take action, and your worst fears were realized? In asking ourselves this question, we come to realize that our "worst fears" aren't really so bad.  Maybe she rejects you and, having a bad day, puts you down in front of other strangers.  Not the end of the world. Ask yourself:  would you survive that?  Would you live to tell the tale? In putting a name to our fears, we realize what's to be overcome, and we realize how irrational they often are.  There is risk to be made in any pursuit of greater glory, but you might find a peculiar side-effect of taking action and getting rejected anyway:  confidence. ]]> Sun, 15 Feb 2009 17:58:24 -0600