If you’re like most guys, you just dabble in online dating for a few months, fail to really hook anyone’s attention (at least, anyone you desire), and cancel the account, deciding not to waste any more money. You never really took a business approach to online dating, and as such, business suffered.
What if there’s a better way? There is, and in today’s article, we’ll take a look at the essential steps between e-mailing a girl and meeting her up - and how to execute them all smoothly.
Step 1: Your e-mail.
For most guys, the first thing a woman will see isn’t actually your online dating profile - it’s your e-mail message. They’ll see your profile, all right, but not until they get an interesting, engaging message from you that makes them think “hmmm…I should check this guy out.”
The e-mail is crucial, and even if you’ve got a “good line” that seems to work, it won’t work 100% of the time. You’ll have to customize each mail to every girl, taking a little time to check out her profile and write something relevant to her.
What does this do? First, it tells her you’re not another guy who is so desperate for attractive women that he simply clicks on a good picture and says “what’s up” or presses “Control + V.” It shows her you’re interested in her specifically. This will be crucial.
What goes into a solid e-mail? A little wit and sarcasm can go a long way. Maybe playfully tease her about something in her profile (nothing major, like a deformity, but a funny belt), or be witty about yourself and playfully exaggerate the role you’re playing.
Step 2: Getting the number.
Provided that your online dating profile is good, she’ll want to respond to you. Exchange a few flirty, engaging e-mails, but go for the number quickly. Simply ask “what is your phone number?” at one point during your e-mail exchanges.
The reason you want to do it quickly is because online dating isn’t an end in and of itself. You’re looking to generate new, healthy relationships, and relationships can’t be carried out entirely on the internet. Even if you’re a master at flirting online, you’ll want to get her on the phone quickly. It shows you are decisive, you are confident, and you’re treating this interaction as something real, not an online flirtation.
Don’t make it more complicated than it has to be. After a few flirty e-mails, most women will easily cough up the digits - she has already demonstrated her attraction to you by responding in the first place, so don’t feel you have to do anything fancy at this point.
Step 3: Getting the meetup.
Once you get her on the phone, take your time a little bit more. Flirt, as you did online, but also make her feel like an old friend. How is this accomplished? Simple. Treat her like an old friend. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable she is.
And that’s the key here: comfort. She has to feel comfortable with you and not get any “needy” vibes at all. You’re being casual and friendly, and you’re not trying to “get” something from her.
After one or two phone calls - which you always end first - ask her out on a date.
Again, keep it simple here, and say something like “Are you free Saturday afternoon?” Don’t ask her when she can come see you - you’re not fitting into her schedule here. You’re asking her if she’s free when you are, and you’re communicating that you have a plan.
Ask her if she’s free, and then tell her you’ll e-mail her the details - when to meet you there, where it will be, and how to dress. Don’t give her orders, just treat her like she’s already your girlfriend.
Think about it: would you make a big whoop out of getting your girlfriend to come out with you? No; you’d simply tell her where you’re going to be and how she should expect to dress. Have that same kind of carefree, casual attitude.
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