Fearne Cotton vs Vanessa Minnillo
These two women have hosted shows on both sides of the pond - Fearne Cotton hails from the United Kingdom and Vanessa Minnillo is a former Miss Teen USA. Which one is your favorite?
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Loading ...Can You Buy Dating Success?
One day, you might have bought a shiny new car and felt the new boost of confidence that came with it. Grabbing that new steering wheel, surrounded by the clean aroma of new-car-smell, and putting on a pair of shades, you feel pretty dang cool. And as you feel that way, you notice that you’re garnering a little more attention from the opposite sex, even though you look the same you’ve always looked.
Here’s the question. Did that extra attention come because of your new car - or because of you?
The Problem With “Buying Attraction”
For many guys who don’t know a lot about women, the way to a woman’s heart is through the checkbook. Well, why not? These guys have been inundated with television shows and movies that tell them rich men are always surrounded by attractive women. So it must work that way in real life, right?
Not exactly. Men who go on dates and try to use their wealth in order to manipulate a woman into attracting them are going about the whole “dating” thing the completely wrong way.
The problem with “buying attraction” is that the underlying assumption is that you’re not attractive enough in the first place. After all, if you were confident in yourself and your attractiveness, would you need to do anything to make a girl see that? No! She’d see it just by looking at you.
Trying to a manipulate a girl’s reaction is one of the first ways to kill attraction. Sure, you might have a BMW, but if the woman senses that you need her to approve of your car in order to have confidence in yourself, attraction will die quickly - or never be sparked at all.
How to Use Your Wealth Smartly
Some guys might say “but I’m really not that attractive; guys like me do need money.”
That’s an assumption you’ve chosen yourself that may or may not be accurate. If you’re talking about your physical appearance, then your “I’m not attractive” assumption will manifest in the way you take care of yourself: you won’t want to be physically fit, you won’t see the reason to stay properly groomed, and you won’t optimize your hygiene. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of the negative kind.
Anyone who pays attention to what really goes on behind the dating success of wealthy men can see that many wealthy men have also built up a certain amount of core confidence along with their wealth. They have a lot of money, but they don’t need to spend it on certain things in order to impress others - if they want to buy something for themselves, they but it.
Similarly, if you plan on buying your dating success, you shouldn’t buy pools, houses, cars, or other toys to impress women. Those won’t find you women. You’ll find yourself women.
Women are attracted to men who are focused on their own lives and their own goals. If your path has included financial abundance, then she’ll feel that you’re a man who knows how to get what he wants.
That’s what’s attractive. Not the BMW.
Jillian Reynolds vs Gillian Anderson
Jillian Reynolds is the NFL on Fox weather girl; Gillian Anderson is the late-1990s TV star from The X-Files. Doesn’t your life feel richer for having learned these things?
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Loading ...Salma Hayek vs Angelina Jolie
Attention, Hottie Matchup-ers: an error has been noticed. Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek have both only made one appearance on HottieMatchup.com each. This problem has been fixed. Thank you for your patience.
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Loading ...Robbie Williams vs Chris Martin
Robbie Williams is the bad-boy rocker whose way with women has helped a few dating articles here at Hottie Matchup. The other is the soft-singing face of one of the world’s most popular bands. Which one of these British imports do you like best?
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Loading ...Lacey Chabert vs Neve Campbell
If it seems like a long time ago when Party of Five was popular, that’s because it was. But that’s no reason to exclude Lacey Chabert and Neve Campbell from Hottie Matchup.
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Loading ...How to “Turn On” The Charm
For all of the advice you’ve dug up on dating over the years - including articles at this very site - everything you “know” about women seems to go out the window when you actually see one in front of you, doesn’t it? An attractive woman can sometimes shake a guy out of his “reality” for a second. When it comes to crunch time - when it’s really time to put one foot in front of the other and approach a woman - how do you “turn on” the charm?
It can be easier than you think.
Lower Your Standards
Huh? Lower your standards? Aren’t standards the reason you’re trying to find a great woman to date? Don’t standards help you live a life by a code that helps you establish order in the chaos?
Yes. What I’m saying is that if you’re too stifled or nervous to talk to a girl, you need to lower your standards in terms of what you’ll allow yourself to do.
In other words, when it comes to “crunch time” and you need to suddenly be charming, you’ll only be stifled if you try to be charming. You’re viewing things through a filter: whatever I say, it’s gotta be good. The result? You might not say much at all, and when you do, it might sound weak or nervous.
When a woman sees that you’re trying too hard to manipulate your own behavior around her, she assumes you’re not very good with women and doesn’t feel gut-level attraction for you.
Have you ever noticed that you feel more charming when you simply allow yourself to relax and say what comes to mind, even if what you’re saying isn’t that great? That’s why you want to lower your standards in terms of what you allow yourself to say. Say anything!
Remember, it’s not necessarily about what you’re saying, but about what you’re doing, and what that says about you. If you don’t feel that you need to talk about terribly interesting things around an attractive woman, the woman you’re interacting with will feel like you’re not putting her up on a pedestal. That’s a good thing and can be very refreshing for her.
Relax
With five fresh Hottie Matchup articles in your head, it can be difficult to process all of the information as you’re talking to a woman.
That’s why you don’t want to be processing it.
Even if you feel nervous energy around a woman, don’t be afraid to relax when you talk to her. When you’re too tense, you’ll probably sabotage your own chances to get a date with her. Don’t assume you need a million pickup lines or tactics to get the girl - assume you need to be relaxed and yourself.
This is a much healthier self-assessment that makes the assumption that being myself is good enough to get a date with this girl.
Be More Interested in Charming Yourself
When a man is trying too hard to win a woman’s affection, she can feel it. She can read it in his body language and his voice, and even if he’s confident, she doesn’t quite feel “right” with him.
On the other hand, when you’re too busy charming yourself to be needy or interested in her reaction, you find a way of interacting with women that is enjoyable for both of you.
What do I mean by “charming yourself?” It means catering to your own emotions first. In a social situation, what do you need to feel good? It probably doesn’t mean being stifled, sitting in the corner, and hoping that you’ll get the guts to approach her.
If you want to turn on the charm, you’re going to have to make yourself feel good first. This means you aren’t looking for a reaction from her. Instead, you realize that emotions are contagious, and the better you feel, the better those around you will feel. Check out this article on Hottie Matchup for a more detailed explanation.
When you approach a woman from this mindset, she sees in your eyes that you assume value in yourself because you believe in making yourself happy and even cracking yourself up. She’ll want to join in your miniature party, but remember, the key is not that you want the woman to react a certain way. Leave her reactions to her. In a social situation, simply try to make yourself happy by cracking some jokes, playing around, or even messing around a little bit.
